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Today was my 3rd "conditioning" appointment. First 2 times was with Mercedes. Today it was Paul. A guy. I just love sweating in yoga pants and a tee shirt in front of a guy. When I met him I told him I was old enough to be his mother so he needed to treat me the way he would treat his mother if he was making her exercise. He looked so puzzled that for a minute I thought oh my God his mother is dead, or a witch, or belongs to a cult and he hasn't heard from her since he was 6 years old. Gah! No, apparently his mother is a skinny little thing who smokes like a fiend and would never listen to him so he can't imagine making her exercise. Whew. Dodged that embarrassing bullet.
I tend to talk a lot during all of these appointments. I talked to Oscar the sleep study guy, emailed back and forth with Michelle the insurance gal, goofed with Mercedes and joked with Beth. In my mind these people need to like me. They are going to help me reach my goal and I know that in my job I will work harder and go out of my way for someone who is nice and makes me like them. It's human nature. So, I talk and I joke and I'm nice. It's not like I'm acting or anything, but I need these people.
I guess you could say I'm charming them. And really, these people deal with all kinds of people every day, as do I. And I do appreciate the people who make an effort to be friendly or funny and goodness knows I appreciate - patient!
My dentist once told me I'm a good patient. Hair stylists have told me the same thing. I sit still and let them do their job. I guess I am trying to be a good patient all across the board with this thing. The journey of a NICE fat girl, to NICE thin girl. Or maybe it would be more accurate - NICE HEALTHY girl. That's the whole point.
Don't tell Paul but it actually kind of felt good to push myself today. Sh-h-h .. I notoriously hate exercise, don't tell anyone I felt more like challenging myself. Hate to ruin my rep.
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1 comment:
Oh, I sooooo know how you feel about needing to be nice & LIKED. I spent a lot of my life - all of my adolescence - needing to be nice & therefore liked. Then I realized what I was doing was manipulative, even though I hadn't thought of it that way...When I grew up a little, like you, I was able to identify myself doing this.
Now, I know when I'm doing it, admit it & accept that it's part of dealing w/ other human beings --and that others may, in fact, NOT like me. And now that's okay. And THAT's healthy.
So, maybe we're all striving for 'healthy' in different facets of our lives.
Carry on, my friend -- and don't ruin your rep, or maybe do! ;)
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