Tomorrow, the bariatric guy

I have been waiting for tomorrow.  It is when I get to see the bariatric surgeon to decide whether or not I am a candidate for weight loss surgery.  I am nervous.

Yesterday I went downtown with my daughter to go to a wedding expo.  Walking from the car to the building was maybe one city block and I was winded.  Very winded.  We walked a lot but what killed me more was the 10 to 15 minutes we stood in one place.  My back started to ache and I feared I would have to be rude and find a way to back out of the conversation (my daughter and one of her friends) so I could walk around.  I don't do anything physical anymore so some of this is not unexpected but the degree to which I have deteriorated is startling.  And mostly it's not healthy.

So tomorrow I am hoping the doctor agrees with me.  I'm not as worried about convincing my insurance company as much as I am the doctor.  Pretty sure if the doctor says it's a go - the insurance company will follow suit as long as I dot all the i's and cross all the t's and jump through every hoop they require.  But the doctor will be the hands on examination, reading my blood test results, listening to my heart and taking my blood pressure.

NOT ME. Very few pics, remember?

There are very few pictures of me from the last 10 years.  I don't allow people to take pictures and I wonder if one day I will regret that.  But a few months ago when one of my brothers was in town, he managed to get a picture of me sitting on the bed in my mom's nursing home room.  It's funny because I know I'm fat.  I see myself in the mirror every now and again and complain about how hard it is to bend down, to get out of a low car, and many other things - I am always surprised when I see a picture.  It's like part of me denies what has happened while another part of me knows.  It's weird.

So tomorrow is the day.  I'm nervous like I said.  But I'm excited too.  I'm hoping this is the start of something really good in my life.