90% emotional, 10% physical

For some unknown reason I was reading the "about me" text in my sidebar. That name - Ken Cooper, always jumps out at me. Kids are cruel and they have no idea what their words can do, especially to a kid that was insecure to begin with. That incident occurred shortly after my parents divorced. It was 1972 I believe, and none of my friend's parents were divorced. Once my parents sat me down and told me it was going to happen, we never talked about it again. I don't even know how my friends found out because I don't remember telling them.

My dad got remarried before the divorce was even final, and I found out when I was riding in the car with him and his wife - when in conversation with her - he referred to her as his wife. Thanks for telling me Dad. On the night my parents told me about the divorce my dad came into my bedroom where I had retreated and I remember him sitting on the edge of my bed and telling me he'd still be my dad and he'd come see me and we'd do things together. Well that didn't last long. Especially after he got remarried. I was always a Daddy's girl and I couldn't understand why he didn't come to see me. I was too big to sit on his lap anymore, but he promised to come see me. Didn't he?

So in 7th grade I had a lot of things I was dealing with. Not that Ken Cooper knew that. But I never teased him about having a silver front tooth after he had almost knocked his tooth out on the metal monkey bars on the playground a few years earlier. Why did he have to tease me?

Okay, I'm an adult now. I cannot blame Ken Cooper or my Dad for my weight. Or my ex husband or last boyfriend or a friend who betrayed me. I have to blame me and I have to get a handle on it. But I have a feeling that for me - I need to work on the emotional aspect of this problem way more than anything else. That's what is making this so hard for me.

I hope that doesn't sound like an excuse because when it comes down to it - that's my reality.